Indiana Jones and the Nuclear Fridge of Doom!
Author: Bob Cornero | Filed under: Film, Hilarity, VideoNote: I’ve been purposely boycotting seeing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, simply because I’ve heard it is terrible, that it’s just a derivative rehash of the old film, made to bring in oodles and oodles of cash. Understand, I’m a huge Indiana Jones fan; I’ve played all the games, own all the books, and love the original trilogy. I even read the Young Indiana Jones series religiously growing up. I say all this in advance to give you some perspective and let you know how much it pains me to feature this next post. Also there might be potential spoilers. Also also, I know you’re all in awe of my photoshop skills.
(from Urban Dictionary)
Nuke the Fridge
t of subsequent scenes that rely on more understated action or suspense, and it becomes apparent that a certain installment is not as good as previous installments, due to ridiculous or low quality storylines, events or characters.The phrase is also a reference to the phrase “jump the shark”, which has the same meaning, only applied to a television series instead of a film series….
2)
A colloquialism used to delineate the precise moment at which a cinematic franchise has crossed over from remote plausibility to self parodying absurdity, usually indicating a low point in the series from which it is unlikely to recover…
The first definition then goes on to say:
“The phrase is not in common use.”
To which I reply:
“Yet!”
Honestly, having not seen the film yet (due to my aforementioned personal boycott of the film [something I thought I’d never have to do to either Spielberg or Lucas; for shame on both of you! No, I’m kidding, you guys are great and I want to make films one day and work with you guys! I really liked War of the Worlds! But Indiana Jones is not War of the Worlds. When I heard there were aliens… please, you guys have to understand!)
Where was I?
Ah, yes. Having not seen the film, and then finding a mashed up clip of it on Youtube after reading this, I can only say this furthers my resolve to relegate this newest Indy adventure to the confines of the DVD rental. Here is the clip, complete with a Moby soundtrack, in case you haven’t seen it yet.
I’m sorry, but I have to ask… What were you they thinking?!? Honestly, I know both directors like big blockbusters, but everything always worked because it was believable inside that universe. This is not believable in any universe! I mean, I know they had to compete with Iron Man, but slapping your hero into a metal box and then achieving liftoff with a large amount of nuclear energy is not going to help you compete! At least Iron Man had some junk pseudo-science to help the audience suspend their disbelief.
Believe me, I really wanted a good Indiana Jones film, but in order for that to happen you needed:
- Natalie Portman – no, not as his daughter but as a much younger love interest. Just keep the tension there, never let anything happen; it would have been a fantastic dynamic. Besides, most audiences would have much rather seen a pretty woman than Shia Labouf. Don’t get me wrong, the kid is good, but, the effect is completely different and now Indy seems a bit like a deadbeat dad.
- Stick with Nazi-bashing. Make him fight Nazi remnants in Brazil. There’s plenty of mythology you could have messed with in that area anyways like lost cities and whatnot. With Soviets who look and behave exactly like Nazis, you’re sort of ruining it for the audience by simply placing faceless hordes with really spiffy epaulets in front of an audience and making them the ultimate force for evil in the world. It’s almost like you think we’ll swallow anything as long as it fits in with that Joseph Campbell school of thought…*cough*GeorgeLucas*cough*StarWars*cough*
- Above all, no aliens. Indiana Jones is about facing the supernatural, and aliens are more “scientific,” if you will, in their nature than supernatural. Stick with derivative and evocative mythology, not hair-brained science fiction.
Instead of a great film what we was Indiana Jones and the Nuclear Fridge of Doom. I’m going to suggest a new title for the next film: Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Radiation Sickness. It will be filmed by Jim Jarmusch and all take place on his deathbed, caused by the copious amounts of radiation he absorbed while hurtling through the sky in his fridge, carried aloft by that glorious atomic blast.
Either that, or I’m finding the closest fridge when the bombs start landing…
You can find out more at http://www.nukingthefridge.com/
And for a much more poignant piece, check out this.
Like this post? Be sure to Check out some of our other cool posts! Be amazed at the exploits of The Real Indiana Jones, enlightened by The Benefits of Having an Opportunity Fund, or try to keep up with Bob on his 30 Day Fitness Challenge!
Subscribe to our feed! Variety, as they say, is the spice of life, and Mumbo Jumbo Daily can help provide it!
Tags: Indiana Jones, Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Crystal Skull, Nuke the Fridge
The refrigerator he climbed into was lined with lead which would have protected him from the initial blast. But the impact from the fall and the subsequent rolling and bouncing around on the ground would have beat him to death and scrambled his internal organs. Still, even with that said, I think it was an awesome scene that left you going “Wow, That Indiana Jones is one tough son of a bitch!”. And although not an integral scene in the movie, I think that’s all it was intended to do.